Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What Would You Do Wednesday? Seperation Anxiety

Ughh....I hope some of you have some great ideas cause seriously I'm in a pickle!

See this little girl:

Well when I attempted to drop her off at the Y child watch area she throw hysterical fit. Screaming, clinging, sobbing. was rough.

Now mind you the teachers did not help. Although they offered to take her and did come over they will clearly annoyed. As not one but two teachers gave loud audible huffs throughout the time I was in the room. I can only imagine what they said to her when I wasn't there if they were acting this way when I was. I thought about calling the Y but don't want to make it worse for MGirl when I take her back. And plus I've been there before (although its not like MGirl is a problem this was only the third time she had ever even been there!).

And no I didn't just drop her and run. I took her and tried to engage her in an activity or find her a friend to play with. She wasn't having it.

You would think as an old kindergarten teacher this wouldn't bother me.....but now that it is my own kid its rough. Not so easy being on the other side of the fence (and doesn't help that my child is 3 years younger then my kindergarteners were!).

Hubby says she has to learn to deal with it and just keep taking her. Nani says avoid the situation for now and deal with it later. I say "WHAT DO I DO??" She has never been in a childcare setting before - not even once. In fact she has never even been watched by someone that she wasn't related to. Yeah this could be rough.

What would you do? Or should I say what have you done?

What did I do on Monday at the Y.....well I left her in there sitting in a rocking chair with a book, she was crying but not absolutely screaming. Teacher went over and bounced her on her knee as I was leaving (as I'm sure thats what every two year old wants - note sarcasm). I came back in ten minutes and looked through where she couldn't see me she was again sitting in the rocking chair, not screaming but clearly not happy Left, came back in another ten, STILL sitting in rocking chair despite all other children being outside playing, and still clearly very unhappy. So I walked in. And the second I did she melted into tears and came screaming over to me. She wouldn't even go to her grandmother. It took a good 10 - 15 minutes of me holding her for her to calm down.

Sigh.....please help! :(

1 comment:

  1. What YMCA do you go to? I hope it's not mine and it is my staff huffing at you!! I actually brag at how good my staff are at bringing children in that don't want to come in and getting them adjusted. You are doing the right thing. I am a huge fan of doing it now - waiting may only make it worse. If your YMCA allows, ask if you can come in when the Child Watch center is closed. With only one employee, you and Mgirl - the place can seem less scary. If you play in there for 15 minutes with her it may show her how safe it can be and how fun it can be. Some YMCA directors will let you do this - some may not - I always do this for our members. I have spent hours in the Play Place with new families. The next thing is to make sure you don't stay more then 20-25 minutes the first couple times. This shows her that you are in fact coming back! Slowly extend your time. Sometimes parents can bribe their children with something after like a treat. Swimming at the YMCA does not work if you tell her ahead a time. Then she justs wants to swim the entire time she is in the center and she misses you - double whammy! But something like a piece of candy, a small toy, etc can work if you want to bribe her. The good thing is that she is not screaming or making herselft sick! It seems like (knowing her just from Facebook) she will actually probably eventually get bored sitting in the chair and start playing with something - which is good. I hope that happens for you! Communicate with the staff when they should get you. If she is crying continuously for 10 minutes, 15 minutes, or do you want them to just wait it out until you get back. Every parent is different - so you tell them what you are comfortable with. We will keep children as long as we can or for as long as parents tell us to. Also, I don't know how busy your YMCA is (ours is really really busy in the Play Place) - so I tell new families to come at slower times when classes are not running (right when we open or right after lunch). Depending on when they are open and your lunch and nap schedule - this may or may not work for you. I think everything you are doing so far is good - keep it up - let me know if you need anything else - good luck!!